Book Review:
Startlingly, we get 80% of our
results from 20% of our effort. The trick is identifying which 20% it is
and this book identifies the characteristics of ‘stars’ reaping 80% of the
rewards:
*Stars are
ambitious
*Stars love what they
do
*Stars tend to do one
thing extraordinarily well
*Stars know a lot about
a little
*Stars think and
communicate clearly
*Stars evolve their own
success formula
1. Take good care of
yourself. It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well,
exercising and getting enough rest.
.
2. Remind yourself of the things
you are grateful for. Stresses and challenges
don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the
things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and
appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.
.
3. Look for the proof instead of
making assumptions. A fear of not being
liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others
are thinking, but our fears are usually out of line with reality. If you
fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you
did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you
turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you
did something wrong unless you have proof there is something to worry
about.
.
4. Refrain from using
absolutes. Have you ever told a partner
"You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!”
Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the
situation seem worse than it is, and programmes your brain into believing
that certain people are incapable of delivering.
.
5. Detach from negative thoughts.
Your
thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you
notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and
don't follow it.
.
6. Squash the "ANTs."
In his
book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about
"ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are
usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking
about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice
these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash
them!
.
7. Practice loving, touching and
squeezing (your friends and family). You don't have to be an expert
to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with
friends, loved ones and even pets is an instant pick-me-up. One research
study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the
arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these
customers than from the ones she didn't touch!
.
8. Increase your social
activity. By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround
yourself with healthy, happy people and their positive energy will affect
you in a positive way!
.
9. Volunteer for an organization,
or help another person. Everyone feels good after
helping. You can volunteer your time, your money or your resources. The
more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive
in return.
.
10. Use pattern interrupts to combat rumination.
If you
find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the
pattern and force yourself to do something completely different.
Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never
productive because it's not rational or solution-oriented; it's just
excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or
sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book or turn on some
music.
Jennifer Koretsky,
jennifer@addmanagement.com
webtopten.org a service of CoachVille.com
Copyright 2000-2004 CoachVille,
LLC.
May be distributed if full attribution
is given and copyright
notice is included.
Eating
disorders, one of the last taboos?
The word sabotage
comes from the French word saboter meaning wilfully
to destroy.
Approximately 90%
of people admit to self-sabotage, citing food as their method of
abuse. Tangible side effects include loss of time, energy, money,
esteem, well-being and a perspective of what’s realistic, normal and
healthy. Sadly, addiction knows no boundaries, it’s oblivious to
class, it happens to regular people like you and me.
Stephen King
rationalised his addictions by saying “creative people tend to be prone
to addictions”. When I came to coaching several years
ago, I didn’t think about specialising in the area of health, let alone
supporting clients with eating disorders. However, the clients came,
maybe because of my own experiences, or my genuine concern for what
constitutes a healthy mind, body and spirit.
Sometimes it takes
a lot of discipline, but I tend to spend my mornings writing articles,
conducting research on the web or interviewing case studies for my
book. As a long-standing ECI volunteer, I’m often also sourcing
potential material for the monthly newsletter. I spend my afternoons
and evenings coaching. I’ll also tune into a teleclass if something
appeals; if not, I’ll listen to or read some self-development material
(brain food).
However, when I
have clients sharing my good life (they are usually established clients by
this stage), it’s my responsibility to be available to support them
throughout the day. Most clients are searching for the optimum ‘diet
for life’, fed up with being on a diet. So coaching starts over the
breakfast of their choice (usually the juice bar) while exploring
why addictions start.
Clients are
encouraged to spend the morning writing in their journals using various
exercises and techniques for rescripting their lives: dealing with past
issues, creating future visualisations and exploring plans around
achievement.
Over a raw lunch
(and often a food preparation discussion), our coaching session
continues. We explore and analyse the impact addiction has had on
their relationships, in particular the one they have with
themselves.
Afternoons are
generally spent relaxing with holistic treatments and imagining themselves
living the life they desire most. In the words of Joseph Campbell
(no relation) “We must be willing
to get rid of the life we planned, so as to have the life that is waiting
for us”.
Depending on the
length of their stay, we have sessions concentrating on reframing beliefs,
values and changing habits; healing the child within; developing and
maintaining a positive mental attitude; learning to be assertive and the
importance of self care. Towards the end of their stay, we always
have a goal-orientated coaching session.
Once clients are
back home, I continue to support them with telephone coaching as
necessary. Working with clients, watching them regain their health
both physically and mentally is extremely rewarding. I just wish I
were wealthy enough financially to open a retreat and hold workshops
benefiting many more people than I do now.
Dawn Campbell
© Rainbow Promise 2005
dawn@rainbowpromise.co.uk
Wherever you go, there you are. There’s no escaping it - your world
is a reflection of you and if the view in your mirror doesn’t elicit a
certain spark, perhaps it’s time to question the underlying
assumptions.
It always surprises me in my work as a personal trainer and
holistic health counsellor, dealing intensively with the body, when
clients don’t do the things that would clearly make them healthier. When I
look a little closer, I see they’re still ‘out there’ looking for what is
only found ‘in here’. Pursuit of fulfilment can certainly lead to a
never-ending spiral of wanting and a maze of improbable options. However,
unless you nourish the source of your renewal – your own being – you will
always look for the next diet, gadget, guru or
solution.
The answer to your quest is not out there somewhere. It resides
within you. The quality of your answers is dictated by the intention of
your questions. Why is self-care at the bottom of the totem pole? Why is
making money more important than making life? Finding the
expression of what lights your fire is what gives your world it’s meaning.
Primary food – feeding your soul, your essence - is your raison
d’être.
The best kept secret – and we all know it – is that self-care is
all about self-love. If you still believe that something out there -
making $1,000,000 a year, finding the partner… – will bring you happiness,
you’re in for a rude awakening. There will never be enough ‘out there’ to
make you feel satisfied ‘in here’. That’s not the way it works.
Self-nourishment brings outer nourishment. If it’s been a while since
you’ve felt this level of vibrancy and vitality in your daily life, it’s
helpful to look at the signposts that may indicate you’re off track. What
are these indicators?
· Life feels flat or dull and you're not fully engaged with work or
play
· You feel chronic stress, you compartmentalise things in
order to manage your life
· Your relationships lack depth, your work is boring,
your body is out of touch
· You’re not expressing your
passion
· You’re mostly in a state of doing rather than
being
· You’re very busy but you don’t have a sense of
meaningful accomplishment
Does this sound like your world? Who are you right now? Does your
work excite you? Do your relationships nurture you? Does your body please
you?
Remember a time when you were fully engaged and passionate about
your life. Who were you being? Being fully alive is about savouring the
juicy-ness of here and now. Life is not a spectator sport. Many of us make
choices everyday that deaden our experience of life, when we could be
making choices that make us come alive! What’s the
solution?
Consider that when you’re fully alive, you’re energised, aware and
doing what you love. You are fully present, creating your life with joy
and excitement, while you navigate the dynamic content of your world. You
surf the wave of change, tune in, assess and take your next step. You are
here now, fully engaged, ready:
to embrace your intuitive nature and enhance your mind/body
connection
to identify your limiting beliefs and where you’re holding
out
to discover your energy drains and realign with your
intentions
to design a self care program that fits your unique
needs
to develop a spiritual practice that sustains
you
to identify exercise and movement that feeds your body
playfully
to enhance the quality of energy for work and play with ease and
joy
to tap your passion and assist you in incorporating it into your
daily life.
© Adela Rubio 2005
www.adelarubio.com
info@adelarubio.com
Why eat healthily?
Well, it is estimated that one person in three will contract cancer in
their lifetime (Cancer Research UK), and the World Health Organisation
predicts an increase to one in two by 2020 (www.who.int). In the UK, the number of
people diagnosed as being obese has tripled in twenty years, and if this
trend continues, over a quarter of adults will be obese by 2010. A recent
National Audit Office report outlined the cost of obesity in 1998 as
follows:
- sickness absence:
18 million days
- working life lost:
40,000 years
- 30,000 deaths
(9,000 before state retirement age)
- cost to NHS: £0.5
billion
- indirect costs to
the economy: £2 billion
Are you one of the
millions on a diet? Why? If you are hoping to be better accepted by
others, do you assume a slimmer body brings that acceptance? Why do diets
fail? One reason is that dieters concentrate on excess weight. The key is
to change the focus from food to yourself. Do not allow yourself to be
controlled by food or anything else for that matter. You take
control of yourself. The better you feel about yourself, the more you will
be in control and your body will benefit. We often focus on external
causes of ill health: but we are concentrating on what to avoid,
rather than designing a positive, healthy, high quality lifestyle.
“Give rather than give up” could perhaps be our motto.
“Breakfast
like a king, lunch like a prince and dine like a pauper”, the saying goes.
The less food the body has to process at night, the healthier it will be.
We can also eat food we know to be good for us, natural and unprocessed.
Most of us want to eat more healthily but don’t know how to go about it.
To change a bad ‘habit’ permanently, we need to practise new ‘behaviour’
for thirty days or more. Following a healthier diet is a relatively easy
habit to change, and the long-term reward might be longevity rather than
premature death.
Overweight is
excess body fat, stored as energy. So the good news is that you have lots
of stored energy to do all the things you want to do. It’s
your energy; you’ve bought and paid for it, so why not use it. Worry less
about losing weight, think about using it.
A healthier
lifestyle could be achieved through organic food; it is better for the
planet, for the farmer, livestock and you. Good nutrition is basically
eating a varied and balanced diet with plenty of fruit, vegetables and
whole grains. By choosing organic food, you avoid colouring, flavouring,
preservatives, emulsifiers, stabilizers and artificial sweeteners, as well
as residues of pesticides, hormones and antibiotics.
Food grown in
rich, naturally fertilized soil offers higher levels of vitamins,
minerals, trace elements, and beneficial plant nutrients that help protect
us against heart disease and cancer. 0rganic vegetables often taste much
better. Eating natural, locally grown food is ideal. Produce grown in poor
soil, picked unripe and kept in cold storage loses much of its nutritional
value. Highly processed, pre-packaged convenience foods contain even less.
There is at
present an explosion in the demand for organic and healthy food options
Organic baby foods now outsell conventional brands in many areas. Iceland
supermarkets guarantee that all their own brand frozen vegetables are
organic and cost no more than branded non-organics – a sign that organic
eating is no longer an elite option. Increased demand for organic and
natural food will encourage increased supply and prices will continue to
drop.
A study in Britain
in 2000 provided evidence of benefits of organic production to
biodiversity. Organic farm fields contained five times as many wild
plants, 57% more species, 25% more birds around field perimeters and 44%
more in the fields during autumn and winter, three times as many
butterflies and over twice the number of small insects that provide food
for birds. There was surprisingly no increase in undesirable butterfly
varieties compared to conventional farms. Fitter you, fitter
planet?
For further
information and details of a 41-page programme for your physical,
spiritual, mental and social development, please contact
Bernard.
Stress, tension and burnout are common in modern society. I have
come to the conclusion that people want to stay stressed!
Why?
Stress helps you seem important. Anyone as stressed as you must
be working very hard and is probably doing something crucial.
Stress helps to maintain personal distance and avoid
intimacy. Anyone as busy as you certainly can't be expected to form
emotional attachments. And let's face it, you're not much fun anyway.
It helps you avoid responsibilities. Obviously you're too stressed
to be given any more work. This lets you out of mundane chores; leave them
to someone else.
It gives you a chemical rush. Stress is a cheap thrill; you
can give yourself a "hit" anytime you choose. Be careful, you might become
addicted to your own adrenaline.
Stress helps you avoid success. Why risk being successful when
simply staying stressed can avoid all that? Stress can keep your
performance level low enough that success won't ever be a threat.
Stress lets you keep your authoritarian management
style. The authoritarian style of "Just do what I say!" is generally
permissible in crisis conditions. If you maintain a permanently stressed
crisis atmosphere, you can justify an authoritarian style all the time.
Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no
trouble if you practise the following clinically proven methods:
Never exercise. It wastes a lot of time that
could be spent worrying.
Eat anything you like. If cigarette smoke can't
cleanse your system, a balanced
diet isn't likely to, either.
Gain weight. Work hard at staying at least
25 lbs overweight.
Take plenty of stimulants. Caffeine, nicotine, sugar and
cola will do just fine.
Get rid of your social support system. Let the few friends
who still tolerate you know that you concern yourself with friendships
only if you have time – and you never have time. If a few people
persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.
Take all criticism personally. Anyone who criticizes any
aspect of your work, family, dog, house or car is mounting a personal
attack. Don't waste your time listening; instead, be offended, then return
the attack! Maintain the cycle as long as possible.
Throw out your sense of humour. Staying stressed is no
laughing matter, and shouldn't be treated as one.
Males and females alike – be macho. Never ever ask for help. If
you want it done right, do it yourself!
Become a workaholic. Be sure to take work home
evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for
losers. You can tell they’re losers by how cheerful and stress-free they
are.
Discard good time management skills. Schedule more activities every
day than you can possibly manage and then worry whenever you get a chance.
Procrastinate. Putting things off to the last
second always produces a marvellous amount of stress.
Worry about things you can’t control: the stock market, earthquakes,
the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.
Become not only a perfectionist, but set impossibly high
standards... feel guilty, depressed,
discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.
A stress-filled life can be yours today!
© skopun@gmail.com 2005
http://discoveryourdestiny.blogspot.com/
On 6th July 2005, the eight
leaders of the world’s richest and most powerful countries met for the G8
summit meeting. Bob Geldof, the driving force behind 1985’s Live Aid, has
consistently refused to revive Live Aid – but he believed the G8
conference presented a unique opportunity. “Charity will never really
solve the problems. It is time for justice – and 20 years after Live Aid,
people now demand it of these eight men.”
It’s impressive when Bob Geldof
speaks. For me, he embodies principles that Napoleon Hill, advisor
to US President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and subsequently author of Think
and Grow Rich, demonstrated. He knew what he was talking
about - the book was based on interviews of 504 of the most
successful people in America, including Ford, Gillette and Woolworth, plus
three US Presidents. His aim, which became his life’s work,
was to find a formula that would work equally well for the average person.
He discovered many things
including the two most critical ‘secrets’. Firstly, definiteness of
purpose is the starting point of all achievement. Secondly, no man
can become a permanent success without taking others along with him.
These factors are crucial to success or the lack of it. Ask yourself
– “How clear am I on what I want”? If you are not clear, what could
you do about it? Also - “Who else do I need to
involve in this decision or action”? You see, as Bob Geldof knows,
any magnificent obsession is useless without involving
others.
©
David Miskimin 2005
David@thedirectorscoach.com
www.thedirectorscoach.com
We "become what we think about all day long”. There is tremendous
power in positive thinking, just as there is unfortunate power in negative
thinking and fear. And the truth is that we get to choose our
thoughts!
If our days are stressed, chaotic, unfocused and unsatisfying, at
the end of the year (and at the end of life) we tend to look back and
wonder, "What happened?" On the other hand, if we make sure each day
contains joy, gratitude, organisation and purpose, some honest work and a
bit of fun, so our lives will be.
The question is, how to have a
great life? Here are a few suggestions:
- Plan each day. Most of us do not put enough time into
deciding exactly how we want to live each day. We don't choose our
priorities, affirm our values and make hard choices about how we will -
and will not - use our time.
- Surround yourself with great people. There's an old proverb that
says, "show me the five people you spend the most time with, and I'll
show you your future". To some degree, of course, we are all surrounded
by people we did not choose. But we also have the responsibility of
choosing our friends and associating with the best, most inspiring
people we can find. Choose wisely.
- Write your biography in advance. Write the ‘script’ for your own
life and read it often. Think about it and re-read it daily. Where are
you going? What will your legacy be? Too often we get caught in the
busy-ness of daily living and it pays to review and affirm your dreams
every single day.
- Read and learn from the great people in history. Life is short
and we simply don't have time to make (and recover from) all the
mistakes in life, so learn from smart people who have gone ahead and
left a trail for
us to follow.
- Share the dream. Tell your loved ones, your best friends and
trusted associates where you're going in life so they can support you.
- Use your freedom to create lives that express your talents.
Personal independence means living your values. It means freedom from
fear and debt. Too many people live lives of confusion, harried and
stressed. Personal freedom allows you to slow down, look around
and manage your life. It also means financial independence. It
means living within your means - saving and investing for the future,
handling money wisely.
In the end, we get what we think about most of the time. Over time,
our lives pretty much look like our days and if you want to predict your
future, look at your daily activities. If there are things you need to
change, change them! If you need to set better boundaries, re-affirm your
values or assert your priorities, do so! In life, we usually end up pretty
much where we are headed. Choose wisely, and day by day, do the ‘little
things’ that make a great life.
Coach@philiphumbert.com
www.philiphumbert.com
Copyright (c) 2005, all rights
reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059X
You may
copy, forward or distribute TIP's
if this copyright notice and full
information
for contacting Dr Philip E. Humbert are
included
A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up
a
$20.00 bill. He asked the two hundred people in the room, "Who would
like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.
He said, "I am going
to give this $20 to one of you, but first, let me do
this.”
He proceeded to
crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"
Still the hands were up in the air.
"Well," he
replied, "what if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started
to grind it into the floor with his shoe.
He picked it up,
now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?" Still the hands
went into the air.
"My friends, we
have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the
money, you still wanted it, because it did not decrease in value. It was
still worth $20.
“Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into
the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way.
We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened
or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean,
crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who
love you.
“The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or whom we know,
but by who we are. You are special - Don't ever forget
it.”
The
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What this means is that to
benefit from the sponsorship and support of The ECI for your workshops,
courses and/or events please register your interest with Tina Sibley @ conferences@the-eci.org.
As part of your registration email please provide the following
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Course and/or Workshop Title
b.
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c.
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d.
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f. date or dates that the
course and/or workshop and/or event is scheduled.
On
receipt of this information, the application will be processed through our
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