The ECI Newsletter
Keeping you informed with each other
January 2005
HAPPY NEW YEAR - Here's to making 2005 your best year yet !
ECI
Coaching Top Tip
 
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the-eci.org
Coach while you walk.

Walford and Rudkin describe themselves as 'life coaches'. I interpreted that as something like an imaginary perfect elder sibling. Wise, caring and devoting their experience exclusively to your benefit. Well, this is an imaginary sibling. They don't like the term 'therapy' because of its backward-looking connotations. 'This is not about why you are where you are' Rosie explains, 'but about moving forward. And you do have to be open to questioning your assumptions and habits.'
View the complete article:
observer.guardian
.co.uk

 
 
 
 
 
 
 







Jumpstart 2005?

PRWEB) December 30, 2004 -- Ever feel like you're sleep walking through life? It's easy to settle into routines at work and in life that leave us a bit numb and wondering if this is all there is. If your life has become a bit hum-drum with too much work and too little fun, now is a perfect time to rev up your energy in the year ahead. If you want to jump-start your life in the New Year, try these tips by Suzanne Zoglio, author of Recharge in Minutes and Create A Life That Tickles Your Soul. View the complete article: www.prweb.com
Book of the month 



Want a clean sweep in 2005? Then read Your Best Year Yet! by Jinny Ditzler
ISBN 0-7225-3034-X


Working through the exercises takes about 3 hours but they will help you focus on where you are now, what you want from the next year and what might stop you achieving your goals.

Other areas covered include
  • listing achievements
  • learning from and letting go of past disappointments
  • how we limit ourselves
  • defining values
  • identifying roles
  • setting goals
The author takes the reader through each step of designing what they want to achieve over the next 12 months.

I bought this book 5 years ago and recently came across the goals I made at that time. I was surprised and pleased to see that I had achieved over 90% of them! Of course I have made new goals since then - and review them much more often - but the act of committing what I wanted to achieve to paper definitely starting me working toward them.

Review by Louise Barnes-Johnston
www.yourlifeinyour
hands.com
Ice-Breakers

(Great for workshops / training to create a safe / fun atmosphere)

Goodnight Moon

Suggested use relates to characteristics of our mental models (i.e. quickly forming associations).

1) On transparency (or chart paper), share the following words: SLUMBER - DREAM - PILLOW - BED - QUIET - NIGHT - PAJAMAS - SNOOZE - NAP - MOON - ROBE - BLANKET

2) Instruct participants to scan the words (but not to write anything down). After ten seconds, turn off the overhead projector (or remove the chart paper) and ask participants to write down as many words as they can recall without talking.

3) Ask participants to raise their hands if they wrote down the word SLUMBER; then the word NIGHT; next, ask who wrote the word SLEEP. After this word (SLEEP), show the transparency (or chart paper) and, of course, everyone will quickly see that even though some participants thought they saw the word SLEEP, it actually is not included in the list of words.

Note: Typically, more than half of the participants indicate that they saw SLEEP in the list of words.

Debrief
Debrief questions can be prepared according to your objective(s); but, since this activity relates to the brain making associations that are frequently rapid but often times inaccurate, you might begin by asking about the associations we make and how often we do or do not check for their appropriateness.

This month's brainteaser was provided by Sharon Werner Adapted from Workshop on Systems Thinking

Condensed Knowledge from Mental Floss - 352 pages of fun facts and trivia.
http://condensed
knowledge.com
Offers

The 101 Best Ways to Get Ahead
An "encyclopedia" of Success! To Subscribe, send an email to:
Subscribe@
philiphumbert.com


Here's something simple, yet irresistible, you can use today
www.wordofmouth
magic.com


Google Alert service at:
google.com/alerts here you can ask for alerts when people link to your site - a great way to track how word of your website is spreading.

FREE ebooks including my own guide to getting into the local and regional press at: debbiejenkins.com

Another really handy site - on a global scale - is allyoucanread.com listing newspapers and magazines all around the world.


Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions. Anthony Robbins

The first lesson we ought to learn is perhaps the most valuable: it is the ability to make yourself do the things you have to do, when they ought to be done, whether you like it or not.

Thomas Huxley Biologist

Index of Items
The Tsunami Appeal

The end of 2004 saw nature at its worst.  The beginning of 2005 has seen humanity at its best, with over £100 million pounds donated by the British public alone to ease the suffering of those affected by the tsunami in the Indian Ocean.

 

Many of you will have contributed already in one way or another.  Several people have asked the ECI, however, if there is anything further they can do as coaches in order to specifically help the business communities involved.

 

Of course immediate humanitarian aid is of great importance, but this element is already being addressed.  In the long term, the economic viability of the affected areas is paramount, and the business communities concerned are going to need a lot of help to recover.  Although it is early days to be too sure about such things, we understand that it may be possible for a basic fibreglass fishing boat and engine to be supplied for under £200, and other equipment will be made obtainable at similar cost-effective rates.

 

For instance: many of the communities rely heavily on fishing.  Needless to say, fishing boats will not have survived the disaster.  To rebuild the economy, boats, engines and equipment will be needed.  Aid directed specifically for such purposes will help to ensure that communities will continue to survive when the immediate relief measures have served their purpose.

 

With regard to the allocation of monies, the Department for International Development and other organisations are currently looking at mechanisms to direct the funds towards appropriate requirements.  

 

Although the number of people killed has staggered us all, the number still alive who need our help is even more staggering.  This way, we can help them to endure and recover with assistance that will be of benefit well into the future.

 

Please Click here to donate online or call 0870 60 60 900 to make a telephone donation.

For UK members, if you pay income tax or capital gains tax, the Disasters Emergency Committee can claim it back from the tax man.  This will top up your donation by an each 28p for every pound sterling that you donate. 

We, at the ECI, thank all those who donated.

Editor's Comment:
 Dawn Campbell
You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.

George Horace Lorimer



January 2005's newsletter comes to you full of ideas about creating solutions not resolutions. What do you plan to do differently / better after reading Decembers Goal Setting newsletter? I trust it gave you the desired impetus and focus to plan for your best year yet. This month's newsletter is designed to help you along even further: it is packed with motivational quotes and valuable articles to help you develop the positive mental attitude required to succeed.

Check that you have planned what you'd like to achieve and by when i.e. what will your business be like, how many clients will you have, what about your own self-development, what studies will you be doing?

How about your home life and relationships (including the one with yourself) - how satisfied is you that you have the balance just right?

What about your financial situation? By planning a route, you're sure to follow the right road and arrive at your desired destination. After all, as coaches you know only too well that you're the only one in the driving seat, so it really is up to you.

Here are some keys to a Positive Mental Attitude (PMA):

Assume Personal Responsibility - you and only you are responsible for your own feelings, beliefs, choices, thoughts, decisions, actions and likely consequences. If you don't have this responsibility, then you tend to blame others or life for the way you feel, think, act, etc. Blaming others is a hallmark of poor mental health and attitude and also encourages the victim / defeatist approach to life.

Events that you experience may restrict your choices and how you think, but understand that they are not the cause of why you think and feel the way you do. Remember, you have a choice to think positive, neutral or negative thoughts.

Accept reality because you live in a world where bad things happen and unfairness exists. Acknowledge and accept that positive and negative things happen by focusing on and maximising the positive aspects of a situation. This will minimise the negativity of the situation. Adopt a non-Utopian outlook and recognise that the world is a mixture of good and bad.

Develop a healthy attitude towards yourself 'If you cannot live comfortably and at peace with yourself, how can you hope to live in harmony with others' Albert Ellis Psychologist
  • Adopt a self-accepting philosophy
  • Celebrate your unique special self
  • Look after your own interests
  • Pay attention to your physical well being
  • Learn to nurture yourself
  • Strive to live up to your standards, values and ethics
  • Be authentic
  • Express healthy negative emotions
  • Minimise distorted / self-defeating thinking
Think critically and creatively do not accept what you are told without thinking it through for yourself. Adopt a healthy scepticism, listen carefully, be objective, consider the motives of others and make your own judgements.

Developing a problem-solving attitude helps you to be responsible and encourages a feeling of choices.

Improve your decision-making skills (remember there is a difference between indecisiveness and difficulties making decisions because of lack of information), indecisiveness stems from self-defeating attitudes.

Finally, strive to improve your relationship with others including that with yourself.

Annie Dillard said How we live our days is how we live our lives. So make 2005 a great year by living each great day in a meaningful way. Don't forget to share your stories and experiences with us.

Dawn Campbell
Head of Newsletters

Send your questions, quotes, case studies, articles, tips, feedback and queries, acronym's etc to:

newsletters@the-eci.org

The ECI Up-date

Workshops

There is a fantastic new programme of workshops about to be launched for 2005! The programme is designed to help you build and grow your Practice. The dates for the workshops in London with speakers being published on the web-site shortly
www.the-eci.org/resources:
  • 11 January 2005 - Fearless Networking
  • 15 February 2005 - Effective Marketing
  • 15 March 2005 - Optimise your Website
  • 12 April 2005 - Benefits of Accreditation
  • 17 May 2005 - Turn maybe into paying clients
  • 14 June 2005 - Personal Dynamics
  • 12 July 2005 - Visioning
  • 13 September 2005 - Giving & Attracting Referrals
  • 11 October 2005 - 2 Niche or not 2 Niche
  • 15 November 2005 - Legal Admin. Requirements
  • December 2005 - ECI Festive Celebrations!

Look out for the launch of our workshops in the north of England and Ireland.

Further details for our workshop programme can be found on our calendar.


Professional Indemnity Insurance for the International Coaching profession

The ECI as part of it's continued and ongoing commitment support to all of it's coaches, working closely with Westminster Indemnity, can now provide our members with discounted insurance rates. This Professional Indemnity Insurance Policy is an all encompassing indemnity and liability insurance scheme for life coaches, executive coaches, corporate coaches, coach trainers and trainers. In addition for the first time ever this policy also covers coaches and trainers in the UK and in Ireland. Over a period of time additional European Countries will be included in this policy.

Details of this insurance policy for Subscribers to The ECI can be found by clicking here. For Members, please logon to the members area and select the 'Discounted Insurance' button. This will provide full details of the discounted insurance offering. For volunteers to the ECI, please contact operations@the-eci.org.

International Coaching for Excellence Awards

The ECI has announced the first award scheme created to reward and recognise Companies who have implemented a coaching culture.

The awards are open to all Companies across Europe who have made a difference in their employee's working environment, 'People Relations' or have actively improved people's lives.

The ECI have been developing this programme with some of Europe's largest 'players' and now seeks four more Companies to pilot the scheme.

Gerard O' Donovan, CEO of The ECI says "After 12 months of hard work and unstinting research, we are ready to form 4 more strategic alliances with Companies that want to work with us to implement this scheme. We are looking for a 3 month commitment from these Partners during which we will finalise the recognition of their Coaching Culture."

All of those interested in the Awards scheme should contact Martin Mitchell, Head of Marketing, PR and Sales marketing@the-eci.org


ECI Launches first National Register

The ECI has launched it's Register of Coaches in a move towards providing Consumers with help when choosing a Coach. Following months of research, the Heads of the ECI have determined that finding a Coach is causing considerable problems for Consumers. The ECI is in correspondence with Government Departments, both in the UK and Brussels, and as a result a National Register of Coaches has been created which will list EVERY Coach that applies, no matter their affiliation or training.

Even though the ECI are taking on this onerous task on behalf of the Industry, all Coaches will be welcome to apply whether they have trained with an accredted company or have membership of Federations, Associations and Institutes or not. All Coaches can be listed without prohibitive rulings and without prejudice. Gerard O'Donovan, CEO of The ECI, says: "This is the chance for EVERY Coach to come forward and say 'Here I am, this is me, this is what I do.' This is the chance for all Coaches to be transparent and make the whole process easier for Clients. The Register is not just about the ECI - this is about improving access to Coaching for all by all."

When someone uses the Register to find a Coach it will list all of the Coaches that meet each individual's requirements and show some basic information that will help them to decide which Coaches to approach. It is always best for people to contact their prospective Coach and interact, this way they can decide whether this is the person for them and they can ascertain that this is the right Coach that will challenge them to get results.

Gerard goes on to say: "We would like to see everyone that calls themselves a Coach listed on this Register so that we can make the whole process easier for everyone to use. Ease of use is the primary goal for the Register and I am delighted that there is now a way for everybody looking for a Coach to see exactly what they can get!"

To apply for listing on the Register of Coaches and for further information about The European Coaching Institute or any of the subjects raised in this release please contact Martin Mitchell, International Head of Marketing, PR & Sales - marketing@the-eci.org


Are we our life's best work of art?


If we make it our top priority to take excellent self care of ourselves, success always follows.

Top Tips

  • Schedule 'me' time into your week - pamper yourself i.e. have a massage, or go for a steam and sauna or just relax. These activities restore balance, get the circulation flowing and increase energy.
  • Get a good night's sleep. It is as crucial as food, water, and exercise. Lack of it results in impaired memory, irritability, low energy, and immune related illnesses. Use an air filter to purify the air in your bedroom. Be sure your bedroom is clean and clutter free. Turn off your TV and computer and telephone by 9pm. Do not drink any tea or coffee after 8pm, these small but important changes can make a huge difference to sleep patterns.
  • Avoid waking up, jumping in the shower, throwing on clothes and racing into work mode. If you begin your day burning adrenaline, you have set the scene for a stressful day.
  • Focus on your breath. Most of us who lead busy lives breathe only into the upper chest area. Our body needs deep breathing to oxygenate the blood and increase energy. The simple act of breathing down into your stomach can instantly relax you and energise you at the same time.
  • Adopt a regular meditation practise. Meditation benefits everyone. It clears the closets of our minds, reduces stress, anxiety, and helps increase focus. People who mediate regularly are calm, grounded, and effective listeners.
  • Read great books and participate in stimulating conversation to fuel the mind.
  • Make exercise fun in order to stay motivated. Stop thinking of it as an option and start thinking of it as a daily part of your self-care routine. It fuels your body, mind and spirit. Even 10 - 15 minutes daily stretching or walking around the block will make a big difference.
  • Take time out at lunchtime, turn your phone off and remove yourself from your workspace. Chew food slowly and connect with what you are eating. This will re-energise you.
  • Maintain a sense of humour. People who laugh are a gift to the world. Wear life like a loose garment. Don't take things too seriously.
  • Play. Schedule in regular downtime to have fun, try new hobbies and switch off from work.
  • Honour your body with nutritious foods. Cut out all refined carbohydrates. Our body is not adapted to deal with a flood of fast releasing sugars, (which not only make your blood sugar levels rocket) but require all sorts of hormones to swing into emergency action to restore the balance, but also feed undesirable micro organisms that can occur in the gut.
  • Ideally we want to receive our vitamins from our food, but as our soil is so depleted in UK, taking supplements is very beneficial. Consult a nutritionist and take Vitamins and minerals 15 mins before or after a meal or during it. Take most of your supplements with your first meal of the day. Do not take Vitamin B late at night, this will interfere with sleep. Irregular supplementation does not work.
  • Drink warm water upon rising with a squeeze of lemon juice and some freshly chopped ginger to clean any mucus out from the day before and kick start your metabolism.

annie@annieashdown.com or www.annieashdown.com
© Annie Ashdown



Enthusiasm finds the opportunities, and energy makes the most of them. Henry Hoskins
A Valuable Lesson


A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 note. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 note bill?"

Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpl ed and dirty. Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless."

"But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.

The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE. You are special - Don't EVER forget it."

If you do not pass this message on, you may never know the lives it touches, the hurting hearts it speaks to, or the hope that it can bring. Count your blessings, not your problems. And remember: amateurs built the Ark ... professionals built the Titanic.



The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it. Colin Wilson
Positive thinking will propel you forward!


People who become frustrated or overwhelmed by their challenges can easily develop negative thinking patterns. This negative filter then makes it even harder to manage those challenges. The following tips offer small ways that you can make a big difference in shifting your thinking patterns.

1. Take good care of yourself.
It's much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest.

2. Remind yourself of the things you are grateful for.
Stresses and challenges don't seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. Taking just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things will make a huge difference.

3. Look for the proof instead of making assumptions.
A fear of not being liked or accepted sometimes leads us to assume that we know what others are thinking, but our fears are usually not reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member's bad mood is due to something you did, or that your co-workers are secretly gossiping about you when you turn your back, speak up and ask them. Don't waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.

4. Refrain from using absolutes.
Have you ever told a partner "You're ALWAYS late!" or complained to a friend "You NEVER call me!"? Thinking and speaking in absolutes like 'always' and 'never' makes the situation seem worse than it is, and programs your brain into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.

5. Detach from negative thoughts.
Your thoughts can't hold any power over you if you don't judge them. If you notice yourself having a negative thought, detach from it, witness it, and don't follow it.

6. Squash the "ANTs."
In his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life," Dr. Daniel Amen talks about "ANTs" - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like "Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me," or "The boss wants to see me? It must be bad!" When you notice these thoughts, realize that they are nothing more than ANTs and squash them!

7. Practice lovin', touchin' and squeezin' (your friends and family).
You don't have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones, and even pets, is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn't touch!

8. Increase your social activity.
By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness. Surround yourself with healthy, happy people, and their positive energy will affect you in a positive way!

9. Volunteer for an organization, or help another person.
Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money, or your resources. The more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.

10. Use pattern interrupts to combat rumination.
If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something completely different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It's never productive, because it's not rational or solution-oriented; it's just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment - go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book, or turn on some music.

jennifer@addmanagement.com

© Jennifer Koretsky & CoachVille, LLC. May be distributed if full attribution is given and copyright notice is included



What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson
High achievers in life expect challenges


They know that as they move forward in life, problems will occur. Unexpected things will happen, and they maintain an attitude of optimism, humour, strength and resolve in the face of difficulties. They know that as they become ever more successful, the size and complexity of their problems will grow. How could it be any other way?

So, here are a couple of keys to solving problems:

1. Expect difficulty! This is no surprise, it is not "unfair" or unusual. Life is complicated. Get good at it.

2. Keep a buffer around the edges of your life. Maintain a "reserve" of extra time, savings in the bank, and a bit of energy to handle the unexpected.

3. An attitude of optimism and enthusiasm is essential.

4. View difficulties as "challenges" or "learning opportunities" rather than as problems. How we talk about our difficulties makes a huge difference in how we handle them. Words matter!

5. "We get by with a little help from our friends." Have a team of cheerleaders, experts and colleagues to help you understand and over-come any problem.

6. Be proactive. Take care of problems while they are small. Preventive maintenance is good for your car, your relationships and your heart.

7. Learn from every experience and (try) not to have the same problems twice. Learn from difficulties, make changes, and move on. Never repeat the same life-lesson!

The key is understanding how life really works, that challenges are how we learn and grow. Life is about what we learn and what we learn to do. Expect "interesting" situations. Taking them in stride builds your confidence. Never fear trouble; expect to triumph over it!

www.philiphumbert.com or email: Coach@philiphumbert.com

Copyright (c) 2004, all rights reserved. U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059X You may copy, forward or distribute TIP's



Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. Winston Churchill
Have you heard of the baby killers?


The "babies" in question are ideas, and the killers are all those people who greet a new idea -when it's very young and needs a lot of love and nurturing-with scorn. "That'll never work, that's a crazy idea, who would go for that, what makes you think you can do it, nobody's done it before, why waste your time?"

All of our pasts are littered with the fragile bodies of the babies that we brought forth, that others laughed at, and that we abandoned. They are our (almost) forgotten dreams, and probably they are our greatest source of regrets. Somebody wise observed that it's not what we did that we regret at the end of our lives, it's what we didn't do. I'd be surprised if, upon reading this, you don't hear the echoes of a few of those scoffing voices from your past. Often they belong to well-meaning parents, who said 'no' once too often; who feared risks themselves and didn't want you to get hurt (forgetting, somehow, that getting hurt is part of growth).

The nastiest thing about baby killers is that we allow them to set up housekeeping in our brains. Those critical, unsupportive people in your life may be long dead, or you may have escaped them by moving away, or you may have changed your circle of friends...and yet their voices live on.

Is there a dream you're harbouring right now that the baby killers, external or internal, are holding you back from achieving? It doesn't have to be anything grand, it might be learning a new language, shaping up at the gym, telling your family you need half a day a week just for yourself, or...

If it's other people who try to stop you, sometimes telling them the story of the phrase "baby killers" when they're scoffing or being critical seems to work. Of course they'll say they're only trying to help, only trying to keep you from wasting your time or making a fool of yourself. If you tell them that you feel like wasting some time, and that it might be quite refreshing to make a fool of yourself, there's a pretty good chance they'll shut up. At least to your face. They may go on scoffing behind your back, but so what? There's no point in arguing with them because they're not operating from logic; they're operating from fear-maybe their fear that you'll get hurt, or maybe their own fear projected onto you, or maybe their unconscious fear that you'll succeed in achieving the things they'll never dare to try.

The internal baby killers are sometimes harder to silence. Nike, the shoe company, makes jillions of dollars a year, and one of the reasons must be their slogan: Just do it. That's probably the best way to keep the internal baby killers at bay. Be too busy just doing it to listen to them.

Bstormuk@aol.com or www.BrainstormNet.com

© Jurgen



Saying yes and no clearly builds confidence and rids us of the misconception that we are powerless. Marsha Sinetar
A day in the life of a Coach in South Africa

I am an International Business & Life Coach with clients in both the UK and South Africa. There are many similarities with clients from a different country, background and culture but South Africa is a very unique country and therefore an extremely interesting place in which to coach people.

I coach within the corporate environment as well as having private clients and the fundamentals are still the same no matter which country I am coaching in. The main issue that I tend to deal with in South Africa surrounds people's self-belief that they can achieve what their heart desires. The "learning" of self-belief takes on a different dynamic to people I coach in the UK.

The reason for this is because of the diverse background, culture and of course "history", from which people emanate in South Africa. The results on people from a country that had such a terrible history under apartheid, threatened civil war and has made a miraculous transformation in a relatively short 10-year period, is quite startling. People that I coach (therefore those that are keen to make a positive change in their lives) in South Africa, do tend to have some "extreme" reasons that stop them achieving what they really want to.

These "excuses" can be summarized as being in two categories viz. for the white person - the new government and the affirmative action policy means that they cannot achieve what they want to, or for the non-white person - their past as a disadvantage person has limited their education and ability to achieve what they want to achieve. (This is very much a simplification but space limits me expanding on this in more detail!) As any coach knows these are just self-limiting beliefs!

The process in addressing these is no different to addressing any other self-limiting belief. However as a coach it is important to recognize that these are strongly held beliefs that have substantial negative feelings and emotions attached to them. From one side it is difficult to explain (to people living in a westernised, democratic society) how painful and degrading life was for non-whites in South Africa under the apartheid regime. Similarly it is a challenge for whites to accept that their way of life and lifestyle has changed so radically that the opportunities that previously existed for them, are substantially limited. As with any strongly held belied, it is a case of accepting the past and acting to limit it's affect on your future.

The way that I approach this with my South African clients is slightly different depending on their background. For previously disadvantaged people it is a case of helping them to recognize that their past is not a limitation, it is an asset and a vital part of themselves that helps to make them who they are. In essence their past is actually an area from which they can derive their strength and courage. It is often in the past that people then find their motivation.

For white South Africans the key is to accept that the future that existed for them in the apartheid era, no longer exists. However the exciting thing is that a completely different future now exists. A future that offers new opportunities that did not exist 10 or so years ago. Once this paradigm shift is achieved, then the way is clear for people to move forward.

So coaching in South Africa (and I guess other countries going through phenomenal change at a very rapid pace) is an unbelievably edifying experience and most of all, it is a massive privilege to be a very small part in helping a country's people cope with change in an active and positive way!

coach@garyhales.com
Living Joyfully


In these dark, cold months of winter, we can all do with injecting more joy into our lives. As coaches, that's what we aspire to with our clients. So how about trying some joy-filling activities with ourselves? Here are some ideas.

Stop trying so hard! If you're like me, sometimes you're exhausted because you've energetically changing your life for the better. Or maybe you're trying hard to build your business and to get more clients. Suddenly you realise it's no longer fun and you're not producing the outcome you want! Well - try lightening up! You're chasing an elusive goal and missing the point - which is that it's the everyday small things that you engage in that are all you have. You're not going to one day achieve 'it' and move wholeheartedly into a realm of fun, joy and happiness. No, more likely you won't even know you've got 'it' because you'll already be working hard for the next goal. Change your habits, live for this day, today, and enjoy each moment.

How about forming a joyful and silly club? Invite people you think may be interested to do something silly that will make you all laugh and indulge joyfully in life i.e.

- Have a winter picnic together, tell silly stories, sing songs, build a snowman, play rounders, etc.

- See a comedy show or create your own pantomime performance.

- Join a dance class - salsa, belly-dancing or African dance, for example - or a singing group.

Meet regularly and remember at all times to allow yourself to be silly.

Give more than you take. See yourself as a channel of universal energy which streams in through the top of your head, passing through you and streams out from you in all directions. Keep this image to remind you not to hang on to things or energy. Share wherever possible and give generously in whatever way you can. Sometimes it might be as simple as a smile that you give. Maybe you could donate (again!) to a charity i.e. your time and energy. See your energy expanding outwards and experience how life affirming this is!

Surround yourself with wonderful evocative smells. It's amazing how smell can change your mood. My favourite is a tiny bottle of mixed essential oils for Noel, which I picked up in London. Great motivating smells for invigorating yourself with the optimism of the New Year are rosemary and ginger.

Make joy your number one practice for the year. Choose it everyday as you wake up. It's easy to be joyful when you're having a high - it's much harder to be joyful when you're in the everyday same old routine. Well, choose to feel joy. Let it seep in through your heart and spread like a warm glow through your body. Savour it and enjoy it.

Wishing you all a joyous new year and a joy-filled practice!

alisonpalmer@wanadoo.fr

© Alison Palmer

If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl. But whatever you do, keep moving. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Perfection, Excellence and "Good Enough"


There are two phrases in business and in life that are widely thought to encourage peak performance, but are actually recipes for disaster.

The first is the ever-popular search for "best practices" and the other is the quest for "zero defects." While I understand the intention behind them, in working with real people in the real world, too often they merely trigger our fears and cause tremendous damage.

Unfortunately, we get tired, we forget, we get distracted. We have misunderstandings and sometimes we "mess up."

In the quest for perfection, we kid ourselves and waste time and energy striving for the impossible. Most of the time we are far more successful if we strive for excellence rather than perfection. Sometimes, the situation merely calls for "good enough" and our efforts beyond that are a waste of time.

In Howard Hughes biography the authors when summing up his life made this astonishing assessment: "...geniuses must, like all of us, live in the real world. Hughes never learned how to convert his knowledge to practical application. Instead, he sought a perfection THAT ASSURED FAILURE."

Now, of course there are instances where "perfection" is the appropriate standard. These are, however, few and far between and most of our quest for "perfection" is simply inappropriate. It grows out of an exaggerated desire to be right, to be super-human, to avoid criticism or risk, and it is not how life works.

Peak performers GET THINGS DONE! High achievers look for appropriate outcomes and measure their success based on the quantity and quality of their results.

In most areas of life and business, here are my preferred standards:

1. Excellence. In work and in relationships, seek excellence. We want to produce superb results that other people admire. We want both quality and quantity, but not perfection. Mistakes are merely the price of experimentation and learning and growth. Don't fear making a mistake - fear failing to learn and move forward.

2. "Good Enough." In most activities our goal should be a performance level that is appropriate to the task at hand. Anything less than "good enough" is sloppy or careless and that is never acceptable, but anything beyond "good enough" is a waste of time.

3. Perfection. It is rarely required. Instead, strive for excellence in the important areas of life, and "good enough" in everything else. I think you'll be happier, more productive and, in the long run, far more successful.

www.philiphumbert.com or email: Coach@philiphumbert.com

Copyright (c) 2004, all rights reserved.
U.S. Library of Congress ISSN: 1529-059X

Man who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt man doing it. Chinese proverb

Who wants to be successful?

There is nothing like "Over-night Success". Behind every such success there is a hard work. Look around you, successful people have a few things in common:

Dreams - they have expectations from themselves and they want to be different from rest of the crowd.
Self Confidence - in their abilities. They know that they are capable to do anything.
Daring - they never bothered about society and the thoughts / opinions of others.
Patience - they were never in a hurry though aggressive in their approach.
Focused - they had clear path for themselves; they know what they were doing, where they are going and why.
Enthusiasm - to carry-on in spite of failures and they had the ability to bounce back. Every time they fall they bounced back they gained greater heights.
Never say die attitude - nothing shakes their resolve or disturbs their vision. They always play to win.


Your life consists of more than commuting to and from your workplace and sitting at your desk / computer. Your life involves more than living through your head - it is about living from your heart.

We all had a dream. It involves 'growing up', some falling down and too much listening to those who never made a difference to arrive at the 'conclusion': "I cannot make a difference." Think for a moment, how the world would be if all people had chosen not to strive for their dreams and make a difference.

People like Martin Luther King, John Kennedy, Mohan Das Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa...You may look at these names and feel somewhat intimidated and be tempted to ask: "Can I really make a difference? Is it worth the price I would have to pay?" It is easier to live a compromised, mediocre life, hoping that someone else makes a difference, while you read about it.

We all had and have people in our life, telling us that dreams are for children, encouraging us to 'grow-up'. Making a difference is like throwing a pebble in a pool. The ripples spread from the centre to larger and larger circles of influence. It begins within you.

Find your dream again. Shake off the dust. Put it before you and say, "Hello, I'm back. " Get reacquainted. Feel the energy, excitement, enthusiasm, fire and passion, overflowing within, calling you to movement and action. Take a stance. Let people know what you think and what you believe in, remembering the old phrase: "Stand for something or fall for anything" - Words are not enough - let your actions talk.

Making a difference challenges you to think and act differently to be different. The word is a stage, we are simply players: Let us brighten it. An altruistic act is a truly scared chant.

Success is not an hour's fruit. It is the outcome of passionate dedication, sensitisation, conscientiousness, egalitarian outlook, pluralistic, unbiased approach, multi-cultural perspective and strong faith. It needs moral repugnance against injustice even when you are in the complex web of relationships.

When life's largest pressures leave you struck dumb, search for an answer; the solution will come. When a tragedy occurs leaving you feeling numb, wait for your health; the strength will come. When everyone relies on you and there is no way you can see, trust your mind to think with time; patience is the key.

When you have made it where others always flee, wait to gather courage; soon you'll be where you want to be. When it is nearing the end and you're in need, muster up your courage; endurance will lead. IT WILL COME.

s070976@yahoo.co.in

© Sanjeev Sharma
Solving the wrong Problem
Talk your way to a positive mental attitude


Late last summer while staying in North Yorkshire I went for a run, which took me along a field track between ripening crops of wheat and barley. The sky was blue and clear, the air still and warm. Partridges whirred up in front of me; a large hare broke cover and ran away along the track. Then I heard the skylarks. The thing about skylarks is that they are easy to hear but not so easy to see - especially against a bright blue sky. I said to myself "Somewhere up there are skylarks, but I'll not be able to see them." I looked up into the bright sky and saw nothing. Just the bright sky. So I satisfied myself with their wonderful song and continued running.

But hang on a minute. Who says that skylarks are not easy to see? According to whom exactly, will I not be able to see them? It was according to me, to my internal di alogue, my belief system at that moment.

Cue: change of internal dialogue.

I then said to myself - still running I might add - "There are skylarks up there singing, and if I look up I will be able to see them." I looked up and almost immediately picked out the rapid wing beat and hovering flight of one of them, then looked to the right and saw the other within seconds of each other.

The only difference between the first time I looked and the second was my belief or my expectation in the outcome and what I was saying to myself.

Now of course, all of us run internal dialogues (whether or not we realise it - make a point to listen for it). It's our internal system for sorting information, solving problems and crucially, how we create the mental attitude that we take into any given situation. What we say to ourselves in our mind is an accurate predictor of what actually happens to us. As Robert Anton Wilson says in Prometheus Rising "What the thinker thinks the prover proves". In other words, whatever the thinker part of our brain thinks we will find evidence to prove that to be the case. When my thinker thought: "I won't be able to see skylarks" my prover made sure I didn't. When my thinker thought I would see them, my prover provided the proof.

What we sometimes don't realise is that we choose, albeit often unconsciously, the internal dialogue we use. Sometimes it might not seem like that but there certainly isn't anyone else talking inside my head! So we have a simple choice. We can either give ourselves empowering, positive messages and play them over and over again or we can do the opposite. There is no more effective way of maintaining a positive mental attitude than ensuring that our self-talk is giving us a series of "can do" messages.

Tony Robbins in Awaken the Giant Within puts it like this: "If an assemblage of words you're using is creating states that disempower you, get rid of those words and replace them with ones that do empower you!" Simple.

And if we do that, we'll see the skylarks every time!

For more tips sendia blank email to
cdatraining@dsl.pipex.com with "Subscribe tips" in the subject box.

© Christopher Davies

 

The only devils in this world are those running around in our own hearts, and that is where all our battles should be fought. Mahatma Gandhi

Marketing Yourself


Question:
I'm keen to take my own medicine and get my coaching act together - what are the key things I must focus on getting right to be successful in 2005?

Answer:
Well, you're a coach, so I guess you know what I'm going to say here, right? What do you think are the key things you need to get right next year? Or, looking at it another way, what did you get right this year that you need to do more of in the next? What do you need to let go of to move forward?

I could give you a list of things I'm going to do next year, but that's no guarantee that they're the things that will work for you.

Broadly speaking, there are two main facets to every coaching business - coaching clients and marketing your services. Both need to be working well for the whole to function. It's no good being the world's best coach if nobody knows about you or how to benefit from your services. Which part of your 'coaching act' needs the most attention?

Another way to get clarity on this is to visualize yourself at Christmas 2005, having achieved all you wanted to in the next 12 months. Get a strong vision of yourself having achieved that success, then from that standpoint write a letter from your future self to yourself now, telling yourself what were the key things that got you there. And of course hire a decent coach to help you get there.

Good wishes for a prosperous 2005 Joanne Mallon
www.MediaLifeCoach.com

You can either send your questions direct to Joanne @ Joanne@medialifecoach.com or to us @ newsletters@the-eci.org

 

The mind is but a barren soil; a soil which is soon exhausted, and will produce no crop, unless it be continually fertilized and enriched with foreign matter. Joshua Reynolds

What is your business strategy?

I notice that owners with a clear business strategy tend to run buoyant, growing companies. So if I was helping you develop your strategy, we would start with two key questions:

"What differences draw customers to you and away from your competitors?" and "What is your best route to selling more and winning more profit?"

Then we might pick out market trends that give you advantage and you might select your preferences. Six helpful ideas include:
  1. Choose what not to do. Deliver fewer products and services excellently and avoid spreading yourself across the marketplace.
  2. Compete on value not price. Increasing value to clients leads to their satisfaction so they recommend you to new contacts.
  3. No competition. Offer something that no one else does (or can copy) and stand out from the crowd.
  4. Paranoia stays ahead. Keep watching what your customers want then you will keep satisfying them. Don't assume that regular custom equals tied income.
  5. Distinctive value. As a specific example, I give my clients a calm oasis in which to define their goals, and create achievable plans, so that important work is protected from interruptions.
  6. Trade-offs that build value. By tuning a package of services to your customer's needs, you create sales barriers against your competitors.
We would then refine this material into a clear statement of intent so that your marketing plan (and business plan) can be well focused. This might seem like hard work but the benefits become clear as your company connects with your customers' needs and your income and profit grow.

adrian@help4you.ltd.uk

© Adrian Pepper
Time For An Attitude Check
Book Review
The Heartbeat of Life


Love, Excitement, Simplicity and Harmony.

What motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? Is it your job, your children, your partner, your exercise routine, mortgage repayment or something else?

When we get out of bed it's often a sense of something that makes us rise - a sense that we "are someone" or "have something to do". We call this a sense of purpose, without which you may actually achieve or experience very little from your days.

When a person feels a lack of purpose, they often feel tired, lethargic or grumpy, they sometimes over-eat or under-eat or watch hours of television. At the extreme they might get involved in other addictive activities, such as drink or drugs. When a person has a sense of purpose the opposite occurs - they enjoy greater energy and focus for long periods of time, often unaware that hours are slipping by and they achieve much more.

Exercise:
Write down how you feel most of the time. Are you energised, cheerful, happy and focussed, or are you tired, lethargic and unhappy?

In Ancient times workers found ways of lifting things while at the same time applying only the minimum of effort for example they discovered when they lifted stones if they put a little of the right effort in at the foundation of an object, it made things a lot easier when it came to putting the top in place. But how can this information help you lift your life to a happier, easier and more contented place?

When you make this effort at a foundation level, the possibility for higher achievement rises, life becomes easier, you become greater and more powerful as a person. Sounds good, doesn't it?

The question to ask ourselves when considering a purposeful life is: 'what is it we need to do in order to make things easier?'

To answer this question think about what you want to have achieved or what you want your life to stand for, in other words, start by thinking where you want to be at the end I.e. your legacy.

Exercise:
Write a list of things you want to have achieved by the time you reach ninety years old.

George Bernard Shaw said: This is the true joy of life, the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one . being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

Consider your answers to the exercise above along with the quote above.

In life we are always working with other forces: people or nature. When we work against these forces we feel the blood-boiling emotions of frustration and stress and feel like we're trying to climb uphill getting nowhere fast. When we work in harmony with these forces we find the opposite; life flows easily, things come to us with little or no effort and we rarely feel frustrated or stressed. But how do we work with these forces?

The simplest way is to be in harmony with them and to do so; we have to look inside at our own qualities. Many people work in occupations that are not in harmony with their true desires or beliefs and many people want to consider a more holistic approach to work, but there is often a feeling of "enslavedness" to the need for money because of mortgages or rents. If this is how you feel, then take my
Discover your Life Purpose e-programme. This programme helps you step by step towards your true vocation while at the same time giving you so many other benefits.

Exercise:
Make some notes on where your life feels difficult and consider how you might be working against the forces of nature.

Having spent some time thinking through how to be in touch with nature, let's think through how we can use the force of nature in our relationship(s).

Consider your relationship with your partner. Where could you work in greater harmony with them? What are their issues? Which issue causes them the most problem? How can you help them with that?

These great questions and the fact that you listen to the answers will almost certainly help your relationship(s). You will feel happy that you have done a great and loving thing for the most important people in your life and as such, you have worked in harmony with the forces of nature.

So, by now you will have increased your awareness in terms of what gets you going at the beginning of the day and how you feel about that. You've looked at what you want to achieve in your lifetime so you know where you're heading. You've also looked at how to get in tough with the natural forces of nature and other people, but what are you going to do with all this information.

Your final exercise.
List anything you can do towards making your life exciting, easier and more harmonious. Next, decide what you can do right now, then do it.

www.unstoppablelife.com
©Jo Ball and author Neil Millar

Shake It Off And Step Up

I'm not sure of the origins of this - but it is a great tale and metaphor we could use as we go through life.

Once upon a time there was a farmer who had an old mule. The mule fell into a deep dry well and began to cry loudly. Hearing his mule cry, the farmer came over and assessed the situation. The well was deep and the mule was heavy. He knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the animal out.

Because the mule was old and the well was dry, the farmer decided to bury the animal in the well. In this way he could solve two problems: put the old mule out of his misery and have his well filled.

He called upon his neighbours to help him and they agreed to help. To work they went. Shovel full of dirt after shovel full of dirt began to fall on the mule's back. He became hysterical. Then all of a sudden an idea came to the mule. Each time they would throw a shovel full of dirt on his back he could shake it off and step up. Shovel full after shovel full, the mule would shake it off and step up.

Now exhausted and dirty, but quite alive, the mule stepped over the top of the well and walked through the crowd.

A great attitude. A great way to approach life. Shake it off and step up. Too often we hold on to what has happened to us. We hold on to it for a week, a month, even years. We cannot shake it loose from our memory. It eats away at us and steals our joy, happiness and peace of mind. The past hurt can create feelings of bitterness, resentment, anger and revenge.

We keep allowing these emotions to be thrown on our backs and if we do nothing, we will be buried deep in the well.

Give it a try Shake it off and step up.

martin@activ8life.com    www.activ8life.com

© 2005 Martin Mitchell
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